You know you’ve been having problems. You seem to argue about everything. You leave the arguments exhausted, drained….and nothing has been solved. You have the same fights over and over, but your partner can’t seem to hear your side, or won’t compromise enough to work it out. Maybe you’re so tired of fighting that you’ve just stopped – stopped caring, stopped trying to communicate your side. You disappear into your work, your children, or into anything that distracts you from your unhappiness. Maybe the silence has become deafening, and the distance between you seems so wide you can’t cross it.
Yet shame does not often direct us toward behaviors that will lead us to a more satisfying life. Conforming to the status quo never provides relief from shame, as the fear of “falling out of line” again will always be there. Shame disconnects us from others and from ourselves. It disempowers us in trusting our own decision making, our own skills, our own ability to know what is best for us in this moment. It renders us dependent on others’ approval for reassurance that we are “acceptable,” “valuable,” “worthy.” It breaks us down and leaves us scrambling to pick up the pieces.
Going to university can be an exciting, rewarding, and memorable time in life. However, for most students, university also means big changes in your surroundings, your social life, academic expectations, and the amount of stress and responsibility you face. But for a lot of students, university can be overwhelming and scary…
This is why it’s so important to assess whether your own “self-care” is truly self-care or something that has been defined as self-care by others. While activities like manicures, the spa, and yoga have long been touted as self-care activities, they are not the be-all and end-all (nor are they a good fit for everyone).
Can we get real about being a new mom? I mean, totally, no-holds barred real about new motherhood?
There is nothing in the world that can truly prepare you to become a mother. You can read all the books, the blogs, talk to your most honest and genuine friends and the transition will still shock and stun you.
I have never been a fan of winter, a fan of being outside in the cold, or a fan of throwing myself down a hill at high speeds. Yet, there I was at the start of January, strapping into a snowboard for my first ever snowboarding lesson
When I work with new moms, one of the hot topics of conversation is routines; naps, feeding, bedtime. While the focus of the routines is usually baby, it is a good reminder that we all need routines, regardless of age.
A few weeks I was struck down by the flu.
REAL. HONEST TO GOODNESS. FLU.
I started coughing on Tuesday night and by Wednesday morning I was a feverish, achy, can’t get out of bed, hot (and chilled) mess. As the days dragged on with minimal improvement, my mood began to plummet.