Is It Me.....Or My Relationship?

Is It Me.....Or My Relationship?

You know you’ve been having problems. You seem to argue about everything. You leave the arguments exhausted, drained….and nothing has been solved. You have the same fights over and over, but your partner can’t seem to hear your side, or won’t compromise enough to work it out. Maybe you’re so tired of fighting that you’ve just stopped – stopped caring, stopped trying to communicate your side. You disappear into your work, your children, or into anything that distracts you from your unhappiness. Maybe the silence has become deafening, and the distance between you seems so wide you can’t cross it. 

The Oppressive Power of Shame

The Oppressive Power of Shame

Yet shame does not often direct us toward behaviors that will lead us to a more satisfying life. Conforming to the status quo never provides relief from shame, as the fear of “falling out of line” again will always be there. Shame disconnects us from others and from ourselves. It disempowers us in trusting our own decision making, our own skills, our own ability to know what is best for us in this moment. It renders us dependent on others’ approval for reassurance that we are “acceptable,” “valuable,” “worthy.” It breaks us down and leaves us scrambling to pick up the pieces.